By Ana Maria Villanueva-Lykes

In the US a child’s first words are usually “dada”, “momma”, and “dog”. In the Philippines, it’s “papa”, “mama” and “bee”. And it’s not just any kind of bee. It’s a special yellow and orange bee with a chef’s hat and jacket. No pants.

Every toddler in the Philippines knows the sweet taste of the hotdog bits in the spaghetti just as well as Lolo is familiar with the delightful sensation of the Chicken Joy crispy skin on the tongue. Their wide eyes — both Lolo’s and apo’s — shine at the first bite. It is because of these toddlers and their lolos — and every member of the family for that matter — that Jollibee is no longer just a fast food chain but an icon.

A mere burger chain has somehow managed to colonize “the youth culture and mass consumption”, as Andréa Picard would put it in her Cinema Scope feature. What is it about Jollibee that makes international film critiques call it a phenomenon and even The New York Times describe it as “strangely addicting”? Jollibee’s success has gone beyond Philippine taste in spite of the fact that others might define its fare as substandard, a taste for the masses. It has conquered the international palate, earning Jollibee the right to call itself the “Filipino Triumph”.

Jollibee’s story is not just the tale of Tony Tan Caktiong but the story of the Filipino’s triumph over the red-haired clown and what others might consider great taste. An inspiration for small businesses, Caktiong grew his empire from two humble Magnolia Ice Cream franchises. But people were hungry and Caktiong quenched the demand with hamburger and chicken. No longer just an ice cream parlor, the business needed a new name, one that signifies productivity and abundance. What better image to represent that than the hardworking bee? But even from the start, Caktiong knew that he wanted to serve more than just food, he wanted to serve happiness, not just for the belly, but for every child within. He wanted a place where “bida ang saya”. And so the jolly bee was born.

The bee’s colony grew so huge, spreading happiness all over the country (more than 750 stores) and abroad (USA (26), Vietnam (32), Brunei (11), Jeddah (7), Qatar, Hong Kong (1), and Kuwait (1)). Today, Jollibee claims a market share that totals to more than half of the entire industry.

But perhaps, more triumphant than the franchise’s story is the Pinoy’s bond with Jollibee, Champ, the Chicken Joy, and of course the sweet spaghetti.

The New York Times calls Jollibee the “fast food for the Filipino soul”. Every single character and item on the menu taps at the heart of the Pinoy and understands its taste buds. Palabok and tapa sit side by side with hamburgers and fries in the menu. The franchise does not force foreign fare down the people’s throat. Jollibee sweetens the servings to make it go down easy. The spaghetti, an Italian classic, is an example. They made it Filipino style, sweetened it and garnished it with hotdog and ham slices, and people gobble this up.

The phenomenon has reached international status, earning at least four features in The New York Times. One of which tells how the friendly bee stings Ronald in the Philippines. The Philippines is perhaps the only country in the world where McDonald’s is not the reigning burger chain. The bee has already marked its territory before the clown set its red boots on Philippine soil. In 2002, The Economist magazine wrote that the country “is a huge embarrassment to McDonalds.”

Try as Ronald may, he could not compete with the Filipino taste. It attempted to localize its burger and bring the Golden Arches closer to the Filipino heart with taglines like “love ko ‘to”. But it was no match to “ang sarap maging at home”.

Taste is just one part of the story. Jollibee also understands the Filipino. It understands that time with Lolo is spent sharing palabok and fries even if they don’t match. It understands that teens, as much as toddlers, love to pose beside the mascot for pictures, and there is nothing baduy about that. It is unabashedly kitschy with its bright colors and does not make apologies for it. After all, the Pinoy is all about color and celebration even in the midst of poverty.

Jollibee recognizes the fact that an occasional cheeseburger treat can cause a sting to the Filipino who earns below minimum wage. A chicken and spaghetti combo for many is not just a meal but a celebration, a splurge. The bee caters to this culture. It serves a feast in a plastic tray with a big smile. Let tomorrow’s meal worry about itself.

The bee knows the culture of Filipino celebration. It knows that a Pinoy will borrow money for a fiesta, to enjoy life through food and dance even with holes in the pocket. It is clearly evident even in Jollibee’s ads. Someone once wrote that you can tell much about a country’s culture through their TV commercials, spotlighting on Jollibee’s TV ads of singing, dancing and eating. And in almost every commercial there is always the family, the elderly couple who misses the langhap sarap or the young man who yearns for the Sunday Jollibee trips of his childhood. Everybody goes back, back to the taste of their youth.

(The author maintains a travel blog — www.anaviajera.com.)

By Ana Maria Villanueva-Lykes

“Labhan ang damit nang mabuti”, says a sticky note on the washing machine door. By the light switch, a sign says, “Patayin ang ilaw.” All over the house are little notes that serve as a reviewer. In the background, Sa Ugoy ng Duyan plays softly as my one-year-old naps. It’s all part of my campaign to make sure that my son grows up fluent in Tagalog and that my American husband is not alienated.

My Pinoy immigrant friends ask why that it is so necessary. It seems like they do not see the value in teaching their kids the native tongue when they can hardly use it on foreign soil. I can understand that to some degree, but it’s disheartening to know that many kababayans believe that their children can get ahead only if they are fluent in English alone.

Once during a visit to Manila, I asked my 6-year-old nephew a question in Tagalog. He looked at me quizzically and said, “Please speak English. I don’t understand.” It was interesting that a little boy could silence me. My brother explained that they’ve been conversing with the boy in English since birth. Even the maids do. Apparently, the maids were getting reeducated too. He admitted that it is turning into a disadvantage, because the child is now experiencing difficulty in his Filipino classes. So does countless other kids in the Philippines whose parents think that their children will be achievers if they make English their first language in a country that’s generally non-English speaking.

I grew up with these kids, classmates who were made fun of because they couldn’t speak straight Filipino. Is it their fault that their parents trained them that way? They were always behind in our Araling Panlipunan classes, and I do not judge them, because I too barely passed these subjects. Truth be told, I can write better in English. And I am not proud of that.

I grew up speaking Ilonggo at home. But the TV certainly talked to me in English. And so did my teachers and classmates four days a week. Mondays to Thursdays, we were obliged to converse in English only. Fridays were Filipino days. They must have figured that we did not need to practice Filipino more when we are after all living in a Filipino speaking country. Even our instructional language for major subjects like Science was English. I have to admit it’s practical that way. Try explaining E=MC2 in Filipino.

Even in addresses, streets are streets, not kalye. Similarly, majority of our advertisements, signs, and directions are in English. It’s not the case in many non-English speaking countries. If you can’t find your way around Korea or Vietnam, you would more than likely get lost in translation. I learned this the hard way, thinking that English would serve me well. When I got lost in the streets of Hanoi, I was greeted with quizzical stares when I asked for directions. Few Vietnamese know basic English and they don’t make apologies for it, because it does not make them lesser individuals, and inversely, to be fluent in English does not make them superior or royalty. How many Miss Universe hopefuls have taken the crown with only the help of a translator?

I can’t argue with the fact that there are advantages to being fluent in what is supposedly the universal language. Statistics show that English speaking countries are responsible for about 40% of the world’s GNP. That says a lot. But then it makes me wonder: why is Japan, largely a non-English speaking country, still way ahead of us in terms of technology and economy?  I guess language alone does not make a country, but language still speaks plenty.

Is this another case of colonial mentality? Should we blame it on the 48 years of American reign and the many borrowed words (tren for “train” for instance)? Have we fooled ourselves into thinking that to make the peso stronger, we need to speak the green dollar language?

The fact is, we’ve come upon times when it’s more convenient to say things in English rather than Tagalog. Thus the birth of “taglish” code switching. Unconsciously, when I converse in Tagalog, I would revert to an English word simply because it’s easier. Maybe it’s because there are more syllables to Filipino words. For me, it also sounds more fluid compared to the hard syllables of Tagalog. “Ang sweet” is easier and shorter than “ang lambing”.

Even the tambay will more than likely say “wow sexy” instead of “wow kaakit-akit”.  I had difficulty looking up “sexy” in the English-Tagalog dictionary. A website came up with mainam and balingkinitan, and they still don’t sound right. I looked up my English-Tagalog dictionary by Leo James English and came up with nothing.

Yes, I brought my L. English dictionaries with me to the states even though they were about a kilo combined. I could have relied on the internet, but L. English is the recommended dictionary of the literati. I had to take it with me no matter the cost (of excess baggage). The act was almost metaphorical. I was afraid that if I left that weight, I would completely lose my native tongue. I brought it along with several other materials like work books and OPM CDs all in the effort of making sure my boys learn the language.

Maybe we are not to blame for the decline of the use of our own language, but we are definitely responsible for teaching our kids to exercise their native tongue. So when my friends ask why, I tell them that bilingual children are better thinkers. They’re more flexible and divergent in their thought processes. They become proud of their self-identity, knowing that they are a culture bridge. And perhaps more importantly, I tell them that although my son has an Irish name and strong Irish-American roots, part of him will always be Finnegan the Filipino.

(The author maintains a travel blog – http://anaviajera.com).

By Cherie M. del Rio

It does not matter which corner of the world we are in or for how long. Sooner or later, our gustatory senses will be craving for the lutong bahay meals that we have grown up with. It seems that we cannot get by without the traditional Filipino recipes to delight our taste buds on a regular basis. But unlike other Asian cuisines — -such as Thai, Vietnamese, and Chinese—the Filipino culinary arts seem to be confined to a handful of Filipino restaurants scattered inadequately in remote states and suburbs. We don’t just walk into any dining hotspot, open the menu, and find a section which contains Filipino dishes. Our adobo and kare-kare haven’t earned fame and patronage the same way the Japanese sushi or Chinese dimsum have made their way in restaurant specials.

Why haven’t we made it? Where lies the problem? Why hasn’t the Filipino cuisine invaded the global scene? A friend cleverly offers a theory: “Because everything is brown.”

And while this is partly amusing and partly true, the color of our dishes is the least factor in our inability to join the ranks of other

Chef Gene Gonzales

world-renowned Asian cuisines. In a recent interview with Chef Gene Gonzales of Café Ysabel, he graciously shared his insights as to why Filipino dishes still haven’t made it globally. Chef Gene, who is the co-founder of Alta Cocina Filipina (the movement for contemporary Filipino cuisine), has authored many cookbooks and articles on the culinary arts for Manila’s major newspapers. His knowledge and brilliant observations on the current state of the Filipino culinary arts pave the way for the even more remarkable visions he has for our native cuisine.

“There is no problem with flavor, ingredients,” Chef Gene explains. “Presentation can be attained by a new generation of food stylists and chefs without altering the time character of the recipe or dish.”

For Chef Gene, the problem lies with a weak marketing campaign and an even weaker political will. He believes that anybody interested in food will try a dish if explained well in a context that the person can relate with. He elaborates, “It can have a historical, anthropological, sociological, medical nutraceutical or a combination of several factors of how a recipe could have evolved.”

Where then should our focus be in order for our cuisine to have a global reach?

Chef Gene offers the most interesting and profound answer: we should emphasize the bond of our culture with our cuisine. Both locals and tourists should be able to identify the strong connection between our cultures and traditions and the food we eat and serve. It must be recognized that when we speak of Filipino culture and heritage, we likewise speak of the Filipino recipes that have been handed down from one generation to another and vice versa.

He looks back at the culinary events he has attended and shares his observations on how the other Asian cuisines have been marketed. “Take the Thai, Malaysian, and Vietnamese experience. Food is always part of any tourism promotion the Philippines has only started the past years,” Chef Gene says. “I’ve been doing Philippine food festivals every year abroad and a good appreciation for our cuisine is obvious among those who try our spreads for as long as the dishes are well explained.”

The man behind Café Ysabel’s world-class cuisine also recounts an example that bolsters the need to highlight the bond between a country’s culture and culinary arts. “Take the Thais,” he says. “It took an American P.R. firm to teach them how to market their food and it was successful. All over Thailand, a Tom Yam looks like a Tom Yam, so does their Red Curry or their Papaya Salad. At present, any Thai national that sets up a restaurant outside of Thailand gets a royal subsidy from their embassy because they want to prove that it is one of the best cuisines of the world.”

It is clear. The Filipino cuisine hasn’t penetrated the global culinary arena not because all our food is brown or that our recipes are not healthy enough or not varied enough. We have not reached that most coveted world-class level because we do not have an adequate marketing scheme that will push our recipes forward, neither do we have sufficient government support.  “It’s a marketing and government problem,” Chef Gene emphasizes.

Having identified our weakness, Chef Gene now relates his compelling vision for the Filipino cuisine and how it can flourish both locally and globally. “We should include Filipino cooking in every grade school and high school curriculum. We should make it a required subject in all professional culinary programs,” he suggests.

He says we explore and be conscious of other culinary arts such as the cuisine of our Muslim brothers in Mindanao, the Filipino ethnic or tribal cooking and its documentation, the Filipino-Chinese cooking, particularly Tsinoy Binondo cooking which has evolved and is its own cuisine.

Chef Gene likewise believes that creating special awards on regional Filipino cookbooks (without the Fusion, of course) can help push our culinary arts to excellence and popularity.

Another one of his well-established suggestions is to create a Food Almanac and document all the specialties on a per town basis. “This can be done on a local government level since all local government units have a tourism office,” Chef Gene offers this insight. “Filipino cuisine will proliferate and will experiment a great push if the multi-sectoral effort will be spurred by a government that realizes the bond of culture and cuisine. Only then can we truly see the reality of a dream of evolving new and more dynamic Filipino recipes.”

And only then can we be closer to the day when we shall walk into a restaurant in some diner in Chicago or Houston and find, perhaps, the sinigang featured in the regular menu. Only then can we claim that our Filipino cuisine has finally descended upon the international culinary scene.

By Meann Ortiz

When Manny Pacquiao defeated Antonio Margarito in 2010, not only did he win the WBC Super Welterweight Championship, he also set a new Guinness World Record for the Most Boxing World Titles in Different Weight Divisions. It’s a remarkable achievement, and something that makes us insanely proud to be a Filipino like Manny.

The Philippines holds other world records. Some of them are remarkable natural wonders: the World’s Shortest Living Man is Junrey Balawing (he’s just 23.6 inches tall), and the Largest Colony of Geoffrey’s Rousette Fruit Bats is in Samal Island (home to an estimated 1.8 million bats). The Youngest Tenpin Bowling Champion remains to be Paeng Nepomuceno, who’s held the record since 1976.

Trivial pursuits

Some records, however, are a little on the wacky side. Remember when a toothpaste brand broke the world record a few years ago for the Most Number of Couples Kissing Simultaneously in one venue? That even merited an ad on the largest billboard along EDSA, and I can still remember the outrage that followed when we lost the record shortly thereafter.

The Philippines is also known for the Largest Legal Tender Banknote (you’ll have to fold this 100,000-peso note several times over to fit in your wallet), the Largest Ten Commandments Tablet, the Most Number of Dishes on Display, the Longest Line of Loose Change, and the Largest Secret Santa Game. Guinness rejected the idea of the “Marikina Mega-Tule”, which would’ve put us on the record books for the most number of circumcisions performed within a set period of time. Yes, you read that right.

We have to wonder, though: If we can afford to put our time and resources toward setting such trivial records, then why are we not aiming to set more truly laudable ones?

A case of damaged culture?

The unfortunate reality is there are still a lot of Filipinos who think hanggang dito lang tayo. Our history of being colonized by different countries beat most of our self-worth as a nation out of us, and most seem to have forgotten that we actually managed to win not only the battles, but eventually, our independence as well.

Or maybe, as a friend of mine pointed out, this is still an extension of the tingi mentality.  We’re so used to what is easy, affordable, and accessible—shampoo by the sachet, cigarettes by the stick, medicine by the tablet—that we forget that we are capable of something greater.

More telling, perhaps, is that many Filipinos lose their sense of nationalism in the face of hardship. How often do we hear the urban poor say, Ano ang pakialam namin sa pulitika at ekonomiya ng bansa kung wala naman kami’ng tirahan at makakain? Individuals, companies, organizations—let’s be honest—many will think of their own welfare first before the country’s.

A closer look at our world records show that a good number, especially the rather off-the-wall ones, were set for marketing purposes—to boost awareness of their own brands or organizations—more than to bring real glory to the country. This is not entirely a bad thing, as it does make the rest of the world aware that the Philippines exists, and that we are capable of being the best at something. We are still proud of these records. But while we’re keeping up appearances and building our image, why don’t we go one step further?

Laudable achievements

The Philippines holds the record for Most Women Breastfeeding Simultaneously (3,541 women), and however ridiculous that may sound, it is actually one of the less trivial ones that we hold on Guinness. It was set during an event sponsored by UNICEF and the Department of Health to raise awareness on the value of breastfeeding children. There’s also the Most Number of Solar Bulbs Installed, which aimed to light 10,000 homes that do not have electricity. The Most Participants in a Racing Event was 116,086 during the Run for the Pasig River in 2010, which aimed to raise funds for the rehabilitation of the Pasig River. The Largest March Against Illegal Drugs was organized by PAGCOR in 2009, and had 332,963 participants.

These records were set for real, worthwhile causes, and these are the kind of records that deserve huge billboards and media exposure. These are the kind of records that we should be aiming for.

We have a long way to go before we are known for The Best International Airport, being the Least Corrupt Country, or having the Most Improved Economy in Southeast Asia. But we can use our penchant for record-breaking and record-setting support meaningful causes that will benefit not only ourselves, but other Filipinos as well. That’s already one small step toward achieving those bigger goals, and one giant leap toward reclaiming our nationalism.

By Ana Maria Villanueva-Lykes

You’ve fallen in love with her beautiful chaos, drowned in her swirl of colors. There is no one quite like her. You’ve been away for so long, yet you still hear the echo of her voice. It’s a cacophony of sounds- the honking of colorful jeepneys, the cry of the ballot vendor, calling for your return. And so you go back, seeking out her smells, the intoxicating scent of sampaguita, the mouth-watering aroma of street food fare. On your reunion, go on a full day date with her and re experience her splendor. An hour or two is not enough. Rekindle the spark with Manila with this sunrise to sunset itinerary:

7:00 Breakfast

You’ve lived on cereal for so long; it’s time to enjoy breakfast the way you used to with large helpings of fried rice, eggs, and chorizo. Dulcinea has some of the best Filipino breakfast favorites including chorizo bilbao, chorizo Pamplona and jamon serrano sprinkled with a generous helping of tradition. Their famous Spanish style Churros Con Chocolate will give you the sugar buzz that you need to start off your Manila tour.

Dulcinea has 10 branches all over the city, but it’s best to have your breakfast at Greenbelt 1 in Makati where you’ll be close to your next stop. If you have the craving for freshly baked puto bumbong or bibingka, head over to Via Mare or to the Manila Peninsula.

9:00 Historical tour

Start your day quietly at the Manila American Cemetery and Memorial, a sprawling green 152-acre plateau at the Global City Taguig, a short scenic ride from Makati. The cemetery contains the largest number of graves of American heroes from World War II. White washed headstones stand in a uniform circular pattern, reminiscent of how these soldiers used to stand in attention. Around these sentinels are a lush variety of tropical trees and shrubberies that offer a quiet sanctuary in the middle of a concrete jungle. Outside is a spectacular view of the Laguna de Bay and neighbouring mountains. Close by is the Cemetery of Heroes where our own heroes and martyrs are laid to rest.

10:30 Shopping

It won’t be a tour without the shopping, and Pinoys are known for cheap retailing. From Taguig, take the C5 road to Tiendesitas in Pasig City. Tiendesitas offers a new shopping experience, showcasing the best Philippine products from art, antiques, furniture, pets, plants, to novelty items, souvenirs, native delicacies, and fashion. More than 450 traders sell their wares under Maranao inspired pavilions adorned with cogon grass, old kalesa wheels, and duyans.

12:00 Lunch

Before you blow all your hard-earned dollars on antique jars, head back to Taguig for lunch at Serendra Piazza. Serendra at Bonifacio Global City is a two level indoor and outdoor diner’s paradise. If you’re missing lola’s dishes, Conti’s or Abe’s is a great choice.

2:00 Spanish colonial stop

Head over to old Manila, to trace your roots in Intramuros. Within the walled city are numerous places of interest that harks back to the 16^th century Spanish colonial period. The San Agustin Church is the oldest church in the country. The Trompe-l’œil painted ceiling, the ornately carved massive door, the choir loft with 17^th century molave seats, and the courtyard make the San Agustin Church a worthy stop. Beside the Church is the museum, home to countless church artifacts, statues, paintings with gold niches from the 17^th century, and tombs of Spanish conquistadors like Miguel Lopez de Legazpi and Juan de Salcedo.

3:00 Merienda

Barbara’s across the museum has a little courtyard where you can cool off and share a slice of decadent chocolate cake with caramel sauce. Upstairs is the dining hall that takes you back to the 17^th century with its lavish chandeliers and ornately bordered mirrors, and traditional Filipino and Spanish cuisine.

If you prefer the oriental delicacies, head to Binondo for some Chinese buns and hopia. Be careful because you can get lost in Chinatown, allured by the good luck charms, exotic ingredients, and jewelry in shops and stalls along the streets.

3:30 Spa treatment

Rejuvenate at the Wensha Spa Center near the World Trade Center for a very affordable body massage and treatment. Be warned though, the center allows you to sleep over, so there might be a good chance you’ll doze and miss the rest of your Manila date.

5:45 Dinner cruise

Head over to the Manila Baywalk for the world renowned Manila Bay sunset. The water reflects the fusion of city lights and the burst of colors in the sky. After the dazzling display, take a moment to reflect at the Malate Church, just across Roxas Boulevard, famous for its Baroque style and history.

Later, take a walk towards the Harbor Square in the CCP Complex for the Spirit of Manila Prestige Cruise. Experience Manila from afar, on a moving vantage point while dining al fresco over a full course gourmet meal.

9:00 Party

Once back on land, rediscover just how Manila loves to party. At the Remedios Circle are bars with character and life that offer a variety of entertainment options from live bands to ballroom dancing. In quiet cafes, the artsy spirits toast to poetry and food art.

Intoxicated with the festive air and the bottles of wine and spirits, wind down at Cafe Adriatico, dubbed as “the first true Filipino café,” by the late food connoisseur Doreen Fernandez. Indulge on a midnight snack of Salpicao and Chocolate Eh.

1:30 Second wind

If the rich dose of chocolate gives you a second wind, take a ride back to Greenbelt 3, Makati at Absinthe for a glass of the anise-flavored “Green Fairy” while dancing to the beats of DJs imported from all over the world.

Not quite done yet? Put on your dancing shoes and dance with Latin flair or snack on some tapas at the Cafe Havanna in Greenbelt 3.

4:30 Turning in

Before the sun catches you, head over to the Horizon Club of the Makati Shangri-la where you can finally rest your weary head in a pillow of luxury and dream of your love affair with the city that will always be in your heart.

(The author maintains a travel blog – http://anaviajera.com.)

Filipino food may not be as famous as that of its Thai and Vietnamese neighbors. But with more than 7,000 islands and a colorful history, this archipelago has some delicious dishes of its own. READ FULL STORY

I reconnected with my mother tongue at the age of 13 and we’ve had a love-hate relationship ever since. She abandoned me when I moved as a child with my family to the United States. I hated not being able to speak Tagalog. READ FULL STORY

Manila Bulletin columnist James Soriano draws attention to the reality of many middle-class, private-schooled young Filipinos who prefer English to Filipino as a means of communication because the former is perceived to be “the language of the learned.” READ FULL STORY

By Aby Yap

In a nation whose days are marked by countless festivities—most of which you no longer celebrate for reasons financial and otherwise—you know it’s that most wonderful time of the year again when A to Z suddenly means:

Aguinaldo: With every warm greeting of Mano po, Ninong/Ninang comes every kid’s unconcealed wish for an aguinaldo. No, it doesn’t have to be gold, frankincense, or myrrh. A gift-wrapped toy or a crisp beInte is enough to earn a grateful kiss from your inaanak.

Bibingka: A taste of this season’s delights? Start with grilled bibingka, its sweetness melting with the salted egg, creamy cheese, and grated coconut in your mouth. Follow it with the purple puto bumbong and wrap up with a cup of hot thick tsokolate for a delicious experience.

Christmas Tree: You not only look forward to the lighting of the giant Christmas tree at Araneta Center, you also can’t wait to assemble your own tree in the living room and surround it with presents of all sizes. As soon as All Souls Day is over.

Dollars: More than any other time of the year, it’s during Christmas when dollars pour into the country. And like manna from heaven, dollars remitted by OFWs and spent by balikbayans make this season a lot merrier, especially for the lucky beneficiaries, and keep our economy sane.

Emote: For those who are into LDR (Long Distance Relationships) or certified members of the SMP (Samahang Malalamig ang Pasko), you can now emote-to-the max while listening to Gary V. croon Pasko na Sinta Ko without ridicule from people around you. That’s because they have to give love on Christmas Day, according to MJ.

Fiesta Ham: Whoever cooked up this branding deserves a lifetime supply of hamon. And not just any other ham; it should be fiesta ham! Imagine the need it has created among us. We lust after this delectable slab of glazed meat (with pineapple rings on top, please) year after year.

Gastos: Still wondering where your 13th month has gone? One miserable word: gastos. The worse part is we’re actually enjoying it. We shop for gifts, clothes, food, drinks, and whatever the season calls for like there’s no tomorrow. The only consolation is we’re no Scrooge.

Home: Ah, home, in the loving company of those dearest to you: family and friends. And if you’re part of an extended family, don’t forget to include your apos sa tuhod, 5th-degree cousins, kinakapatid, in-laws, kabarangays, etc. Christmas is worth celebrating when you’re at home.

Inaanak: For those whose list of inaanaks is longer than EDSA, playing Hide and Seek is the customary practice—not that it’s advisable. See, you can’t hide for the rest of your life. Besides, you have to confront your fear. Just arm yourself with aguinaldo.

Jesus: How many times have we heard it that Jesus is the reason for the season and not jolly Santa Claus? Yes, the big guy is rosy-cheeked, cute, and brings us gifts through the chimney (which makes his identity sound incredible). But Jesus, the poor babe who was born in a manger, is our Savior.

Karoling: “Namamasko pooo!”  Once you hear this announcement, prepare to listen to a sintunado medley of Sa may bahay…, Ang Pasko ay sumapit, and other easy-to-memorize Pinoy carols. Then, give out a few coins lest you hear them sing “Thank you, thank you, ang babarat ninyo.”

Lechon: As in any other fiesta, lechon will always be the Christmas table’s centerpiece. It’s not healthy, yes, but who said being healthy is part of this season’s deal? Remember: pigging out is allowed during the holidays (and certain occasions).

Metro Manila Film Festival: It’s your chance to see the unstoppable Shake, Rattle & Roll once again! (It’s now on its 12th sequel.) And Bosing Vic transform into the legendary Enteng Kabisote! So, forget Hollywood flicks for a while and let’s support our local films.

Noche Buena: It’s probably the most awaited meal of the year. At the strike of midnight, your usually bare table instantly turns into a lavish feast fit for the kings. Oh, the picture of meat dishes, carbs, and sweets gathered altogether is mouth-watering!

Over the Top: It’s been said many times in many ways that Pinoys have the longest, grandest, costliest, and of course, the merriest Christmas of all. That’s definitely over the top!

Parol: No house—big or small—is caught without a parol come the holidays. It could be as simple as bamboo sticks formed together to be a star then wrapped with papel de hapon, or as high-tech as the capiz lantern with dancing lights in Pampanga.

Queso de Bola: It’s like fruitcake; everyone has it, but no one eats it. Fortunately, it makes for a nice shiny red décor on your platter of New Year’s Day fruits.

Reunion: With the entire angkan (including people you didn’t even know you were related to), long-lost kindergarten classmates, high school friends, college barkada, and former officemates—there are all sorts of reunions that you just have to attend. If only for the tsismis…

Simbang Gabi: Ready to hear mass for nine straight mornings? Take note: it’s 4 a.m. But that’s what makes Simbang Gabi all the more exciting; it’s a real test of your willpower! Here’s the deal: if you pass it, your one wish shall be granted.

Tiangge: Rejoice, bargain hunters (read: kuripot)! Your Christmas shopping worries are nearly no more with good, old tiangges where the rule of thumb is to haggle—what you’re naturally good at. Warning: prepare for a battle of siksikan and tulakan.

Unlimited Food and Drinks: Since everyone is extra generous and welcoming, you’ll get invites to every party there is. Grab this opportunity to spare yourself from dining expenses. With the unlimited food and drinks available, you’ll never go hungry or thirsty—at least during the holidays.

Vacation Leave: After a year’s hard work, you deserve a long break. And when’s a better time to take your vacation leave than during Christmas season? Thinking about all the shopping and reunions will distract you anyway. Hence, the influx of balikbayans.

White Christmas: Call it the American dream, but many Pinoys still dream of a white Christmas. That is, frolicking in the snow and building Frosty while singing Winter Wonderland.

X-change Gift: Something soft? Something smelly? Something special? Buying an X-change gift, “X” meaning top secret, for your Monito Monita or Kris Kringle could be challenging and exciting or disappointing and annoying—depending on the gift you’ll receive.

Year-end Reflections: The holidays, too, are a perfect time to go through year-end reflections in preparation for New Year’s resolutions. Example: I think I ate too much crispy pata that it’s starting to show in my thighs. I’ll start dieting on January 2.

Zero: The truth is all that holiday splurging could give you a zero, even a negative, balance in your financial books. But, hey, Christmas happens only once in a year—though celebrating it is bound to be a little too exaggerated if you’re a Pinoy. (Please see entry on O.) So, let’s just eat, drink, and be merry! Ho, ho, ho!

“Chuvachuchu,” “Jologs,” “Krung-krung” at “Kikay.” Ilan lang ‘yan sa mga nakaaaliw na salita na madalas nating marinig sa mga showbiz personalities… na malamang ginagamit mo rin paminsan-minsan. Pero kagaya ka ba ng manunulat na si Pete Lacaba na nagtatanong kung saan nga bang lupalop nahugot ang mga salitang ito? READ FULL STORY